So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen...

An escape was made.
Sanity remained in tact.
Why or why, would I choose to now compromise that?
Why sell out?
Why this 360 degree turn about?
This pit is deep and dark,
And needing to be filled, like a vortex its pulling me in
I am stiffling,
Can't catch my breath
Sinking in quicksand
Becoming one with the mire
NO!
NO!
NO!
Like a dog returning to his vomit I shall not be!
This is not me
Or is it?
I seem alien, never having been 'realer'
Whatever the answer,
all I know at this point is that I am in need to a healer
And its not you
Loving you is bad medicine, eroding my soul
Exposing my emotions to the elements of harsh and cruel reality
Recanting all that I have said,
Am I sacrificing my integrity?
Just to have some fleeting attention from thee
NO!
NO!
NO!
This cannot be
While there is possibility,
Let me salvage me
And bow out of your life in my current capacity
Pick up what's left of the shreds of my dignity
Accepting that true friends or dedicated lovers, now we cannot be
Since my dearest, I want to be more than just your fantasy
For you see,
You always will be so much more than that to me.